I look at my son's time with Ray, and there are many smiles I have. I start off by thinking of how Zach just wanted to wrestle to keep in shape for football. He had no idea who Ray was or how things were going to change for him. He started out his freshman year almost like a brand-new wrestler. He had wrestled from kindergarten to 2nd or 3rd grade. Not really sure he learned much during that time as he only wrestled the same three kids at every tournament. As Ray saw something in Zach, he started to gently push him. I remember Zach telling me how he was doing some moves in the room and Ray asked him what he was doing. Zach so proudly said, "I made that move up coach." Ray just smiled and giggled a little and reminded Zach that we should just stick to the moves he was teaching. I think it was at that moment that he really noticed that Zach really enjoyed what he was doing in that room and that he could do great things. Zach worked hard every practice but he never really complained that it was hard work or that it was tough. With Ray leading him, he just loved being in the room even if he was exhausted and dripping with sweat. Zach went from that goofy freshman who was making up moves and who knows what else to progressing in just a few years to stand at the top of the state podium not just once but twice. None of this would have happened if Zach had a different coach. Ray not only made practice enjoyable—even with all the work—but he gave each wrestler goals and let them know that he believed in them. We have experienced many different coaches and have witnessed many different coaching styles, and nothing compares to Ray. That belief in a kid makes all the difference. They really can move mountains if they know that someone believes that they can. It was this belief that has pushed Zach to move on, and now he is at Western playing football and will also join the wrestling team when football is over. It is amazing the mindset that Ray instilled in Zach. He has been told many times while at Western that playing football and wrestling at the same time is unheard of. Zach just smiles and says, "I know I can do it," and just ignores the comments. His focus and desire come from Ray's teachings. He just has a hard time walking away from wrestling as it is his closest connection to Ray. Zach's is working on being a "Ray" and wants to coach/train and inspire others to be the best they can be.

Nicolle Schraeder, CHS Wrestling Mom

Wrestling is a lonely sport. After sitting through hours and hours of watching my son wrestle, I can attest to the isolation in the middle of a crowd of people. There’s no team helping you through—it’s just you and your opponent. The youth wrestling league of which my son is a part has a no-coaching policy during tournaments, so it literally is just the young wrestler working through the issues on his or her own as they try to put into action all the practice time they have had.

Since he was five years old, my son has trained under the same coaching staff, all of whom donate their time to the youth wrestling program which meets at the local high school gym. Twice a week, the coaches worked on strength, form, maneuvers and character. The last of those was the one that impressed me the most.

The head coach was a gruff, serious man with high expectations. He did not preach perfection or winning, but rather emphasized the kids’ listening to their parents, doing their homework and staying away from things that could cause them problems down the line. This coach was the definition of an older generation—one which demanded respect of authority, but kept showing up with determination to train another group of small people who often didn’t listen well and couldn’t figure out the moves.

I sat through practice after practice, slowly growing to know the man who methodically worked these kids into some sense of confidence in their wrestling ability. He wasn’t a gushy teacher in any way, but the kids knew to their core that he loved them and poured his life into them. Some of my favorite practices were when he gathered the kids together on the floor around him, taking ten or fifteen minutes of the practice time to communicate a lesson he had decided was more important than running through wrestling techniques for that moment. Sometimes it was women’s rights, sometimes respecting parents, and sometimes behaving appropriately—but he always talked about it with conviction and care. And the children listened.

He had a platform into the kids’ lives, and knew how to use it. The coach didn’t require expensive uniforms or travel, and he made a point of not burning the wrestlers out with too much practice. But he did demand good behavior at tournaments and practice. They were expected to perform their best, including being respectful to their opponents whether they won or lost.

Over the last four years, my son has stepped onto the mat many times. And every time, my breath stops and my heart pounding is the only sound I can hear, even though I am surrounded by noise. I watch him push through fear to stand there alone, processing through all he has learned as he waits for the referee to signal the start of the match. He amazes me as he keeps working holds and shoots, changing up his techniques as he decides what makes sense with this particular opponent.

He wins often, but the losses teach him more. He learns to get back up and try again, and to deal with the frustration of kids who cheat and are downright mean. He sees the contrast in the teams who are taught to win no matter what the cost, and his own team where character is promoted as preeminent, and winning is just a happy addition. And he keeps trying, even when it’s hard and even when he gets discouraged. It has taught me much by watching him persevere under difficulty. The coach is always there after the match to hear about how it went, and to encourage him to keep trying.

My son’s wrestling coach died this year. He had terminal brain cancer, but still showed up for the last few practices with his little wrestlers. He also was with his high school wrestlers when they went to state. Even to the end, this coach demonstrated to my son how to persevere through devastating circumstances. He taught him more about character than athletics, but he taught a lot of that too. I will forever be grateful for the impact this man had on my son, the sacrifices he made to keep showing up for kids who needed these lessons. And every time I watch my son wrestle, I will think of his wrestling coach who focused on winning at life much more than winning at wrestling.

—Hannah Morrell, CYWC Parent

How Coach Helped Me Realize I Had Nothing to Lose

I had a blast in my 4 years of high school wrestling and I'm so grateful for the incredible friendships that I made along the way. In addition to all the life lessons that shaped who I am today, I can also tell you that there were times that I was sort of a head case that was caused by putting a ton of pressure on myself. I put so much energy into training and was so close to my teammates, the pressure and not wanting to let the team down would get to me. Looking back, I think that I lost a lot more matches due to my mentality than by my physicality or ability. Coach Barron definitely knew this about me.

By Senior Year, I was in a much better place and was really looking forward to being present and enjoying the year. However, I ended up in one of the hardest weight classes in the state. I finished the season with a .500 record with over half of my losses were to the same two guys that were in our region. I had to wrestle 7 matches at the Regional tournament to make it into the 3rd spot to qualify for State. Heading into the State tournament, the bracket included two returning state champions, a highly touted up and comer, and a number of other solid wrestlers.

On the Sunday before the State wrestling tournament, Coach Barron would invite the state qualifiers over to his house to let us know our bracket seeding. It was a really personal experience and was really special that year since we had 5 Seniors going to state. When Coach brought the discussion around to me, it was not a surprise that I was the last seed in the bracket and that I would be facing one of the returning state champions (who was either undefeated or maybe had one loss). I don't remember Coach's exact words, but I do remember him with a really big smile and telling me this was a good thing. He explained that I had nothing to lose as the underdog and that there were absolutely no expectations for me to win. That this was an advantage. I remember joking and laughing about it with Coach and the guys (who are still my very best friends to this day) and I felt an enormous sense of relief.

Heading into the State tournament I was very comfortable, and my self-talk chatter wasn't surfacing. I was truly experiencing what it felt like to have nothing to lose and it was new to me. I was super loose and relaxed before the match and Coach Barron gave me an approving smile. Once the match started, I don't think it was very long before my opponent attempted to throw a headlock. However, I was pretty good on my feet and was able to slip the headlock and get him on his back. I kept him there the rest of the period and the first period ended with me up 5-0. He chose bottom and within seconds of the second period, he scored a reversal and now I was on the defensive to had to stay out of trouble. It was exhausting and the second period ended 5-2. Heading into the 3rd, I chose top. Coach yelled at me from the corner of the mat and said "Cut him loose!" Giving your opponent a point is always a risk, but Coach knew that I was more confident on my feet that I could control the match. I think he also knew my opponent would be less aggressive after that first period. I was transitioning away from a feeling that I had nothing to lose, to believing in myself, winning this match by not letting fear get in the way.

Looking back, this was definitely the most significant match in my four years of wresting and it's the one that I carry with me in my memories. Whenever I head into challenging circumstances, I try and remind myself of the moments of adopting a mentality of having nothing to lose, even if I have to manufacture it. The images in my head of this significant win aren't always on the wrestling mat at the Pepsi Center, or embracing coach and my teammates afterward. I always think of sitting in Coach's living room, looking at that grin and the shimmer of the silver tooth. I think he knew that day that I was going to win that match. You know what, deep down inside, part of me knew it too. I just needed someone to help me believe it.
—Tony Mauro, HHS Wrestling Alumni

Ray had a great impact on Zach in more ways than what we can even begin to imagine. It all started when Zach decided to go out for the wrestling team as he thought it would be a great way to stay in shape for football. Ray welcomed him with open arms. Zach had done a few years of wrestling when he was younger but really was kind of new to wrestling. He was all about learning but would like to make up his own moves. Ray saw something in Zach that Zach did not see in himself. Ray worked with Zach and pushed him to be better each day. He started winning and then went to regionals and took second. He was a freshman going to state. He did not do what he wanted to that year thinking that he must have disappointed Ray, Zach was determined to get back to state and stand on that podium. Ray had such an impact on Zach that he wanted to make him proud each and every match. Ray could see how much he wanted this and continued to push and work with him. He did what he set out to do and took 3rd his sophomore year. All of this was made possible with how much Ray believed in Zach. Zach knew this every day he was with Ray. Ray never made Zach feel bad or less than what he could be. Zach set another goal with Ray and that was to stand on the top of that podium for the next year. His Junior year Zach was ranked first in the state and he had everyone out to get him. Ray took this on as a great challenge and continued to push Zach to believe that he could do anything he wanted to. And yes, Zach did stand on the top of that Podium that year. As a freshman Ray saw something in Zach and helped him stand out. All of this was made possible with Ray believing in Zach.

Zach really likes the Punisher and had a shirt on with Punisher logo on it at a meet and from that point on Ray insisted that Zach wear it for every meet. It became their thing. Zach was known as the punisher. Ray loved that. Zach still wears that punisher shirt for every match.

Ray has made such an impression on Zach that Zach is looking at ways to be just like Ray. He wants to give back to others. He is on his way to college to study exercise science and looking at ways to train others and give back just like Ray.

Ray not only coached him at football and wrestling but at how to be strong, responsible and helped him grow into a great young man. We will never be able to thank Ray enough for guiding Zach to be who he is and will be.

The Schraeder Family, CHS

My senior year, freshly ordained as a co-captain with Jared Nuzman and very excited about the season, coming off as a state qualifier the year prior and having put in the work in the off-season, I proceeded to lose my first two matches, first at the Cherry Creek dual and the second the opening match at the Woodland Park tournament.  Man, I was destroyed. After the second loss I skulked down a dark halfway and lifted one of those hallway gates that come down from the top and closed it behind me, and found a dark classroom tucked away in the furthest reaches of that school, where I proceeded to curl up in the corner and cry. A few minutes into my pouting session, the door exploded open, and chairs literally started flying up in the path of Ray Barron, bouncing off the ceiling. The man then proceeded to pick me up by my singlet and slammed me against the blackboard, feet dangling, face an inch for me, commanding me in no uncertain terms that no captain of his would dare to act like this, and to get my ass out on the mat and act like a man.  

I’m not exactly sure whether he unlocked some inner confidence I had in myself or whether I had just had the benefit of having the fear of God put in me, but I won 18 matches in a row after that, and when he was in my corner before each one he slapped me so hard I’d get enraged, at which point he’d turn me around and shove me out on the mat.  The man just had no tolerance for the kind of BS I was peddling, and it awakened in me something that I’d never really known about myself before. I’ve tapped into the reservoir a few times in my life since, but he was the one that brought it out. He was an extraordinarily caring human being, but also a masterful coach and motivator. He knew exactly how to get the best out of his athletes, and we came in all kinds of packages. My son recently had three weekends of striking out almost non-stop and had a similar reaction to mine. I knew exactly what to do, got with him personally every day that week he didn’t have practice and had zero tolerance for his hot-mess self until I got him so pissed he hit 17 baseballs in a row and we ended on that note. At the game the next day, he had the best hit on the team when most of the other kids struck out in a lopsided loss. Thanks, Coach Barron. What a wonderful gift you bestowed upon me, and how awesome it was and will continue to be to pass on to my own boy.

—Alex Hodgkin, HHS Wrestler

Ray Barron and his family welcomed me into their family from Day 1. They tucked me under their collective wing and poured their boundless love all over me... just like they have for so many students, wrestlers, kids, and people before me. Over the last 7 years, I have had the privilege of becoming part of their family and being around them always feels like I can breathe easier, like I have come home. Being loved by a Barron is to be loved and accepted for who you are which is easier said than done for most... but not for them.

—Kelly Willams, CHS Wrestling Supporter and RBS&HF Advisor

“You need to believe in yourself as much as i believe in you.” Words have never been so true. Coach Barron said this frequently. He knew exactly what to say, when to say it and how it needed to be said. He was firm when he needed to be, and would crack a smirk if the tension needed to be eased. You could see it in his eyes that something special was happening. He was helping you realize that you had it inside to achieve things you never thought were possible. This is a picture Coach talking to his wrestlers as they went into the second day of regionals at Fruita Monument just two years ago. The expression on coaches face and the closesness and intent of his wrestler says it all. Barron’s Boys are a special breed.

—John Alley, HHS Wrestler and CHS Wrestling Coach

In college I painted a picture of me coming off the wrestling mat to Coach. My area is dark because I lost, but the area around Coach is brighter. He is so proud of what I did, that the loss doesn’t matter. His pride in me leaving it all on the mat is overpowering my thoughts of how poorly I wrestled. If we could see the hug after there would be no dark colors. I have a guess how amazing that Championship hug is, but I know how amazing that Loss hug he gave us all was. I wish I could give it to all of you that are hurting, mad, sad, confused, etc. because we all know that Coach’s hug brought us back to our center no matter what we were feeling.

—Luke Barron, HHS Wrestler and CHS Wrestling Coach

Through wrestling, Coach Barron taught me that sportsmanship is always more important than winning and that I am responsible for my own actions. These lessons, and so many more, will be with me forever and I hope I am able to pass them on.

With Thanksgiving coming, I can't help but remember the speech that our team would get every year before we left for Thanksgiving Break. It was not about staying in shape or being ready for our next competition. Coach would remind us to be thankful for whatever food and family we had, to say thank you to those who helped prepare the meal, and to only put the food on our plate that we were able to eat. Reminding us to be humble, respectful, and prudent was always most important.

—Brad Stansbury, HHS Wrestler

Coach Barron—my coach, my mentor, and my friend. I didn’t know when I met you how lucky I was. How you would be so much more to me than just a coach. How you would come to know me better than my close friends and even some in my family. How you would convince me that the impossible was possible. How if I just set goals for myself and did everything within my own power to achieve them that I could get there. You made me trust in the process. You made me believe in myself. Your belief in me made me a stronger, better version of myself. You taught me lessons that I will carry with me not just through my wrestling career, but throughout my life. I am the man I am today because of the influence you have had on me and support you have given me. I will miss you so much, but you will always be with me in my corner. So proud to call myself a Barron’s Boy Forever. Love you Coach.

—Jack Forbes, CHS Wrestler

Coach Barron was one of the first people I met in the sport of wrestling. Even as a young kid you could see his passion for helping people. As I grew older, he was always there to offer a smile or some words of wisdom. Please consider donating to this great cause!

Mitch Finesilver, Cherry Creek and Duke University Wrestler

“When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.” —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

How blessed we have been to have known and loved someone that was such a gift to so many. I will miss Ray for so many reasons. Quite simply, he was a man that taught me to just live. Just live this life and enjoy all of it. Enjoy the experiences, the people, the successes and the failures. He always made me feel calm when I was around him. He always looked at the small things as exactly what they were, small things- things not to stress over. He accepted people for who they were. He was always there to offer a helping hand or sit and talk for a minute no matter what he had going on in his own life. He inspired me to be a better person.

He loved our son as if he was his own. He was a trusted friend and confidant for Jack. They shared a relationship we were not privy to and it was so special. Jack, like so many other lucky young men, has become a different person, both on the mat and in life, because of Ray’s influence in his life. Ray supported him, loved him and made him believe in himself and what he could achieve. We will be forever grateful for all Coach Barron gave to our son.

Because of Ray we were blessed to become part of a much larger family - Coaches at Columbine and coaches from all across the state, former wrestlers and their families and Ray’s actual family - all who welcomed us with open arms and cheered on our boy with such enthusiasm. We love you all and are praying for healing for your hearts.

Being remarkable as defined by Webster is the ability to “Attract notice by being unusual, striking or extraordinary.” Being remarkable means going above the norm by doing, saying, offering, or being that individual who puts more heart, soul, and thought into your actions. Ray was a remarkable human being. Ray truly was a gift—a gift that will keep giving to us for the rest of our lives. We love you Ray. I love you Ray. You will be greatly missed.

—Stacy Forbes, CHS Wrestling Parent

I am lucky and truly grateful to have overflowing childhood memories of my Dad [Bryan Skarda] and Coach Barron and the impact made on so many lives. The many times I would run to the wrestling room as a little girl asking Coach where my Dad was with his group of wrestlers but wouldn't leave until I played with the wrestling buddy (patched by duct tape) in the back room and showed Coach my new gymnastics moves on the mats. He always took time to smile at my moves even though they had nothing to do with wrestling.

There are not many people in this world lucky enough to have over 20 years in their life supported and surrounded by a true legend. I am a lucky one and you will be dearly missed but certainly will continue making a difference in our community!

—Bridgette Kurowski, HHS Alumni

My junior year, I suffered what turned out to be a horrific soft tissue injury to my right leg during the last week of football. Ray would not let me give up. I got pneumonia during the recovery, and he never gave up on me. I came back for a decent season and wrestled in the JV district tournament, which I won.

Ray had been in and out all day, and right before my last match, which was against the first seed and huge favorite, he pulls me aside and tells me, "You're going to beat this guy!" I replied "I'll do my best." to which he said, "You're not hearing me son. You WILL beat this guy."

It's been more than 30 years and I am still afraid to find out what would have happened had I lost. I will forever miss my friend.

—Paul Fletcher, HHS Wrestler

Ray and I were colleagues at Heritage High School for 16 years. While many, if not most, remember him as a dedicated coach, I will remember him as an Educator who taught all students with respect, rigor, understanding and acceptance. He recognized that students, of all abilities, deserved an equal education and an equal playing field. He took them all under his wing in the classroom, on the field and on the mat. And we were all the better for it.

—Lynne Popkowski, HHS Teacher

Describing Ray Barron’s influence on my life would take a lot more than just a Facebook post. Instead, I’m going to TRY to briefly reflect on a few key moments. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the first time I met Coach. I was around 7 years old and constantly involved in sports. Every season was accounted for in an effort to drain my endless energy. When basketball and soccer failed to meet my desire for punishing physical contact, my mom, Pam Smith, decided to call every youth wrestling program in the area. And she did… She called everywhere from Highlands Ranch to Arapahoe. Guess who was the only coach to call her back? That’s right, Ray Barron.

In a matter of weeks, I found myself walking down the concrete halls of Heritage High School. If it wasn’t enough that I was wandering through a building built to withstand nuclear blasts in the Cold War, I was about to be introduced to something even more meaningful. On the bottom floor of this massive, windowless structure, lied a pumping, bleeding and burning heart. To those of us who were lucky enough to become “Barron’s Boys,” this place was referred to as "The Sweatbox." To average citizens, it was probably referred to as that weird, hot and stuffy room that the wrestlers use.

As I walked into the room, I was instantly mesmerized. There were padded walls and floors with low ceilings. There were names lining the walls. Of course I had no idea what those names meant, but I knew they were important. In fact, those names became the equivalent of the world’s highest peaks to me. Those guys, even though I had not met them yet, were legendary in my mind. It became an important but seemingly unreachable goal from a very young age to get my name on that wall. I may not have been able to articulate it at the time, but I could feel decades of blood, sweat, tears, glory and the aspirations of hundreds in that room.

At this point in my existence, the only wrestling I knew of was pro wrestling. So, I was kinda expecting to see a ring, folding chairs, lights… Ya know, the works. The suspension of my expectations were given extra life as my mother walked me over to meet Coach Barron. I remember it like it was yesterday. As we turned the corner into the office, a hulking man turned around and greeted us with a deep, growling and gravelly voice. He had 1 silver tooth, a shaved head and a horseshoe mustache similar to Hulk Hogan's. He looked exactly the part of the next, great wrestling superstar and this gave me relief. Ah, I am in the right spot,” I reassured myself as Coach Barron shook my hand and introduced himself.

Now, to save myself a box of tissues, I’ll skip over the uncountable life lessons Coach Barron taught me and the rest of my peers inside that room. Working hard, being thankful, staying tough and telling our parents that we loved them (a few of the popular standouts). Not to mention the times he sat us down on his knee to console us after a loss, or give us that big, powerful hug at the end of the season. He was the real deal and as you can imagine, it didn’t take much for parents to recognize that and become involved. This created an incredible community of support. I wrestled for Ray all the way through middle school and eventually landed at the high school nearest my home, Thunderridge.

It’s funny when I look back on it now, how little time away from his influence it took to have me coming back for more. TRHS was not what I expected and it certainly didn’t stack up to the morals and values that had been coming from my parents and other key sources like Coach Barron. After my freshman year, I immediately decided to enroll at Heritage High school, even though it was a good 17-25 minute drive away from home. Some key drivers pointed me in that direction. A base of friends and a community I was familiar with from the little kid wrestling program, as well as the chance to continue developing under Coach Barron.

Fast-forward through three years of incredibly important and meaningful life lessons. More beautiful moments within the Heritage wrestling community. More life-long friendships. More personal developments, physical and mental. More care and effort from a man who was already known for his saint-like reputation. It’s my senior year of high school and I’ve admired those names on the wrestling room wall my entire life. Imagining how great it would feel to reach the state wrestling championships and be included on that list. With every year under Ray Barron’s tutelage, that goal had become more and more of a reality. However, this was my last chance. My final stand. I had seen too many painful examples of people missing that goal (including myself). Injuries, wrestle backs, giving up. I decided that would not happen to me. I would not risk my opportunity to place in the top 4 at regionals. No consultation bracket. No losing. Just get yourself to the finals, then nobody can take your ticket away.

We traveled to Poudre High School for regionals my senior year. With a lifetime of inspiration behind me, I had pinned my way into the semi-finals. Now, the only thing between me and my ultimate goal was the 189-pound wrestler from Brighton. I have never been more nervous. The pressure I was putting on myself was more than anything I had ever experienced. As I warmed up for the match, my own thoughts of doubt and failure had begun to manifest as stomach pain. Coach came up to me for our usual pre-match rituals. Seeing the look on my face, he asked how I was feeling. “My stomach doesn’t feel so good, coach,” I said, expecting to get the sympathetic ear I had received the prior 11 years. All the sudden, Coach raised his deep, gravely and growling voice to yell and exclaimed “Well, go throw up then!” I said “Yes sir” and went to the bathroom to do exactly that. When I came back, Coach gave me some tums and we resumed our normal pre-match warmups. He knew what I was doing to myself. He knew that the only thing standing between what I wanted and where I was, was MYSELF. He seemed like he knew everything, including knowing the right things to say at the right times. He knew when to cross the line and when to respect it. Most importantly, he knew when to shake you out of your own nonsense and when to console you. A rare gift by anyone’s standards.

So, I went out and I wrestled. Two and a half hard-fought periods flashed by as I found myself on top position and more than 8 points ahead. “Holy shit, I’m 30 seconds away from it.” I thought to myself. As victory was closing in, I continued driving my opponent into the mat. While the final seconds counted down, I felt an unexplainable euphoria flow over me. The buzzer sounded and I shot up to my feet with my hands in the air. My arms and legs seemed like spaghetti and my eyes were already filled with tears. I had done it. After shaking hands with my opponent and his coach, I ran over to Barron and gave him a giant hug. My family and teammates cheered in recognition of how important this moment was for me, I stayed there crying in Coach Barron’s arms for around 10 minutes. He had helped me to reach an unreachable peak and it was the only thing I had ever wanted that bad. He also knew how important that moment was to me. No doubt he had seen me and countless others staring longingly at that wall. He had heard me and my friends hatching our plans to make it up there. He knew and he stayed there in that same spot, letting me cry tears of joy on his shoulder, enjoying the moment. I will never forget that moment or any of the little moments that led up to that moment. Many of those moments are thanks to Ray Barron and the incredible men he recruited to help run his program. He helped me to have my own "Rocky" moment. A moment where I overcame all fear, doubt and every little voice in my head telling me to give up.

Flash forward to 2020. Again skipping the moments when he coached me at the Pepsi Center, when he put me up for the All-State Senior Dual Team, when I came back to help out with the little kids program on school breaks, when I won a Rocky Mountain Nationals title, when he invited me to help coach the same Little Kid’s program that I came up through, when he recommended me for my first coaching gig at Euclid Middle School or asked my to join his staff when he came out of retirement to reform Columbine Wrestling. Now… We’re 3 years into his tenure at Columbine and prospects are looking very good for the next season. At this point, I had been collecting interviews with people who’ve been influenced by Coach as well as experts studying the effects of mentorship. Like in every other aspect of life, Coach was extremely giving of himself and had approved my request to make him the heart and soul of a documentary on the importance of mentors in young people's lives. So, in the middle of the summer heat, Andrew Martin and I spent all day with Coach Barron. We filmed his daily chores, a tour of his house and of course a long, detailed interview.

One of the many questions I asked Coach Barron in his interview was: “When thinking about how someone should spend their time on earth, what is the most important thing they can do?” His answer is a beautiful encapsulation of his purpose on this earth. Ray Barron was one hell of a man. For so many reasons. But, one of the biggest reasons he is loved and revered the way he is, is because he is so selfless. He was always looking out for YOU, not himself. His morals and values were absolute. He walked the talk and he walked it straight down the line. If he told you something, he meant it and if he was ever wrong (which was rare) he would apologize and tell you why he was wrong. He expected the same behavior from everyone around him… Which is why there is a gigantic army of wrestlers, football players, students, rugby players, track stars and parents all over the world infused with his spirit.

I have to take a moment to apologize for putting so much of my own memories and history into this post… But as you might have realized, it’s somewhat unavoidable. Ray Barron has been a significant part of my life for over 25 years. When I think about my favorite memories of him, it only reminds me of the many other things he did for me along the way. As you’ve heard from countless people in the past month, Coach treated his wrestlers like his own sons. For all intents and purposes, Coach Barron was part of my family and I always felt like a part of his. Of course, I was extremely lucky to have my own incredible parents, but can you imagine how important his influence was on people who had no positive influences? I can, because I’ve been studying it for years. It’s groundbreaking and beyond transformative. That’s why my new goal will be to spread Ray Barron’s message. To show how important every person’s intentions are in this world.

Your actions in this life will echo through eternity. Will the ripples you create be positive and constructive or will they be negative and damaging? My hope is that I can shine a light on Coach Barron’s efforts and honor his path. In the end, his purpose was to help others. My god, what an amazing world this would be if money, power and fame were all pushed aside for the benefit of others. Of course we would be in such a better place. So, in that spirit, I would urge us all to strive to be more like Ray Barron. I know it’s not easy and I know that it doesn’t come naturally. But, that’s why he was so special. That’s why he will always have a special place in my heart and my head… Reminding me to keep pushing through, doing the job right, being grateful and prioritizing the things that are really important. Thank you, Ray Barron for everything you were, everything you are and everything you will continue to be. The world is a better place because you were in it.

Bo Smith, HHS Wrestler

 My senior year, freshly ordained as a co-captain with Jared Nuzman and very excited about the season, coming off as a state qualifier the year prior and having put in the work in the off-season, I proceeded to lose my first two matches, first at the Cherry Creek dual and the second the opening match at the Woodland Park tournament.  Man, I was destroyed. After the second loss I skulked down a dark halfway and lifted one of those hallway gates that come down from the top and closed it behind me, and found a dark classroom tucked away in the furthest reaches of that school, where I proceeded to curl up in the corner and cry. A few minutes into my pouting session, the door exploded open, and chairs literally started flying up in the path of Ray Barron, bouncing off the ceiling. The man then proceeded to pick me up by my singlet and slammed me against the blackboard, feet dangling, face an inch for me, commanding me in no uncertain terms that no captain of his would dare to act like this, and to get my ass out on the mat and act like a man.  

I’m not exactly sure whether he unlocked some inner confidence I had in myself or whether I had just had the benefit of having the fear of God put in me, but I won 18 matches in a row after that, and when he was in my corner before each one he slapped me so hard I’d get enraged, at which point he’d turn me around and shove me out on the mat.  The man just had no tolerance for the kind of BS I was peddling, and it awakened in me something that I’d never really known about myself before. I’ve tapped into the reservoir a few times in my life since, but he was the one that brought it out. He was an extraordinarily caring human being, but also a masterful coach and motivator. He knew exactly how to get the best out of his athletes, and we came in all kinds of packages. My son recently had three weekends of striking out almost non-stop and had a similar reaction to mine. I knew exactly what to do, got with him personally every day that week he didn’t have practice and had zero tolerance for his hot-mess self until I got him so pissed he hit 17 baseballs in a row and we ended on that note. At the game the next day, he had the best hit on the team when most of the other kids struck out in a lopsided loss. Thanks, Coach Barron. What a wonderful gift you bestowed upon me, and how awesome it was and will continue to be to pass on to my own boy.

—Alex Hodgkin, HHS Wrestler

Ray Barron and his family welcomed me into their family from Day 1. They tucked me under their collective wing and poured their boundless love all over me... just like they have for so many students, wrestlers, kids, and people before me. Over the last 7 years, I have had the privilege of becoming part of their family and being around them always feels like I can breathe easier, like I have come home. Being loved by a Barron is to be loved and accepted for who you are which is easier said than done for most... but not for them.

—Kelly Willams, CHS Wrestling Supporter and RBS&HF Advisor

"You need to believe in yourself as much as i believe in you.” Words have never been so true. Coach Barron said this frequently. He knew exactly what to say, when to say it and how it needed to be said. He was firm when he needed to be, and would crack a smirk if the tension needed to be eased. You could see it in his eyes that something special was happening. He was helping you realize that you had it inside to achieve things you never thought were possible. This is a picture Coach talking to his wrestlers as they went into the second day of regionals at Fruita Monument just two years ago. The expression on coaches face and the closesness and intent of his wrestler says it all. Barron’s Boys are a special breed.

—John Alley, HHS Wrestler and CHS Wrestling Coach

In college I painted a picture of me coming off the wrestling mat to Coach. My area is dark because I lost, but the area around Coach is brighter. He is so proud of what I did, that the loss doesn’t matter. His pride in me leaving it all on the mat is overpowering my thoughts of how poorly I wrestled. If we could see the hug after there would be no dark colors. I have a guess how amazing that Championship hug is, but I know how amazing that Loss hug he gave us all was. I wish I could give it to all of you that are hurting, mad, sad, confused, etc. because we all know that Coach’s hug brought us back to our center no matter what we were feeling.

—Luke Barron, HHS Wrestler and CHS Wrestling Coach

Through wrestling, Coach Barron taught me that sportsmanship is always more important than winning and that I am responsible for my own actions. These lessons, and so many more, will be with me forever and I hope I am able to pass them on.

With Thanksgiving coming, I can't help but remember the speech that our team would get every year before we left for Thanksgiving Break. It was not about staying in shape or being ready for our next competition. Coach would remind us to be thankful for whatever food and family we had, to say thank you to those who helped prepare the meal, and to only put the food on our plate that we were able to eat. Reminding us to be humble, respectful, and prudent was always most important.

—Brad Stansbury, HHS Wrestler

Coach Barron—my coach, my mentor, and my friend. I didn’t know when I met you how lucky I was. How you would be so much more to me than just a coach. How you would come to know me better than my close friends and even some in my family. How you would convince me that the impossible was possible. How if I just set goals for myself and did everything within my own power to achieve them that I could get there. You made me trust in the process. You made me believe in myself. Your belief in me made me a stronger, better version of myself. You taught me lessons that I will carry with me not just through my wrestling career, but throughout my life. I am the man I am today because of the influence you have had on me and support you have given me. I will miss you so much, but you will always be with me in my corner. So proud to call myself a Barron’s Boy Forever. Love you Coach.

—Jack Forbes, CHS Wrestler

Coach Barron was one of the first people I met in the sport of wrestling. Even as a young kid you could see his passion for helping people. As I grew older, he was always there to offer a smile or some words of wisdom. Please consider donating to this great cause!

Mitch Finesilver, Cherry Creek and Duke University Wrestler

“When a great man dies, for years the light he leaves behind him, lies on the paths of men.” —Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

How blessed we have been to have known and loved someone that was such a gift to so many. I will miss Ray for so many reasons. Quite simply, he was a man that taught me to just live. Just live this life and enjoy all of it. Enjoy the experiences, the people, the successes and the failures. He always made me feel calm when I was around him. He always looked at the small things as exactly what they were, small things- things not to stress over. He accepted people for who they were. He was always there to offer a helping hand or sit and talk for a minute no matter what he had going on in his own life. He inspired me to be a better person.

He loved our son as if he was his own. He was a trusted friend and confidant for Jack. They shared a relationship we were not privy to and it was so special. Jack, like so many other lucky young men, has become a different person, both on the mat and in life, because of Ray’s influence in his life. Ray supported him, loved him and made him believe in himself and what he could achieve. We will be forever grateful for all Coach Barron gave to our son.

Because of Ray we were blessed to become part of a much larger family - Coaches at Columbine and coaches from all across the state, former wrestlers and their families and Ray’s actual family - all who welcomed us with open arms and cheered on our boy with such enthusiasm. We love you all and are praying for healing for your hearts.

Being remarkable as defined by Webster is the ability to “Attract notice by being unusual, striking or extraordinary.” Being remarkable means going above the norm by doing, saying, offering, or being that individual who puts more heart, soul, and thought into your actions. Ray was a remarkable human being. Ray truly was a gift—a gift that will keep giving to us for the rest of our lives. We love you Ray. I love you Ray. You will be greatly missed.

—Stacy Forbes, CHS Wrestling Parent

I am lucky and truly grateful to have overflowing childhood memories of my Dad [Bryan Skarda] and Coach Barron and the impact made on so many lives. The many times I would run to the wrestling room as a little girl asking Coach where my Dad was with his group of wrestlers but wouldn't leave until I played with the wrestling buddy (patched by duct tape) in the back room and showed Coach my new gymnastics moves on the mats. He always took time to smile at my moves even though they had nothing to do with wrestling.

There are not many people in this world lucky enough to have over 20 years in their life supported and surrounded by a true legend. I am a lucky one and you will be dearly missed but certainly will continue making a difference in our community!

—Bridgette Kurowski, HHS Alumni

My junior year, I suffered what turned out to be a horrific soft tissue injury to my right leg during the last week of football. Ray would not let me give up. I got pneumonia during the recovery, and he never gave up on me. I came back for a decent season and wrestled in the JV district tournament, which I won.

Ray had been in and out all day, and right before my last match, which was against the first seed and huge favorite, he pulls me aside and tells me, "You're going to beat this guy!" I replied "I'll do my best." to which he said, "You're not hearing me son. You WILL beat this guy."

It's been more than 30 years and I am still afraid to find out what would have happened had I lost. I will forever miss my friend.

—Paul Fletcher, HHS Wrestler

Ray and I were colleagues at Heritage High School for 16 years. While many, if not most, remember him as a dedicated coach, I will remember him as an Educator who taught all students with respect, rigor, understanding and acceptance. He recognized that students, of all abilities, deserved an equal education and an equal playing field. He took them all under his wing in the classroom, on the field and on the mat. And we were all the better for it.

—Lynne Popkowski, HHS Teacher

Describing Ray Barron’s influence on my life would take a lot more than just a Facebook post. Instead, I’m going to TRY to briefly reflect on a few key moments. Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about the first time I met Coach. I was around 7 years old and constantly involved in sports. Every season was accounted for in an effort to drain my endless energy. When basketball and soccer failed to meet my desire for punishing physical contact, my mom, Pam Smith, decided to call every youth wrestling program in the area. And she did… She called everywhere from Highlands Ranch to Arapahoe. Guess who was the only coach to call her back? That’s right, Ray Barron.

In a matter of weeks, I found myself walking down the concrete halls of Heritage High School. If it wasn’t enough that I was wandering through a building built to withstand nuclear blasts in the Cold War, I was about to be introduced to something even more meaningful. On the bottom floor of this massive, windowless structure, lied a pumping, bleeding and burning heart. To those of us who were lucky enough to become “Barron’s Boys,” this place was referred to as "The Sweatbox." To average citizens, it was probably referred to as that weird, hot and stuffy room that the wrestlers use.

As I walked into the room, I was instantly mesmerized. There were padded walls and floors with low ceilings. There were names lining the walls. Of course I had no idea what those names meant, but I knew they were important. In fact, those names became the equivalent of the world’s highest peaks to me. Those guys, even though I had not met them yet, were legendary in my mind. It became an important but seemingly unreachable goal from a very young age to get my name on that wall. I may not have been able to articulate it at the time, but I could feel decades of blood, sweat, tears, glory and the aspirations of hundreds in that room.

At this point in my existence, the only wrestling I knew of was pro wrestling. So, I was kinda expecting to see a ring, folding chairs, lights… Ya know, the works. The suspension of my expectations were given extra life as my mother walked me over to meet Coach Barron. I remember it like it was yesterday. As we turned the corner into the office, a hulking man turned around and greeted us with a deep, growling and gravelly voice. He had 1 silver tooth, a shaved head and a horseshoe mustache similar to Hulk Hogan's. He looked exactly the part of the next, great wrestling superstar and this gave me relief. Ah, I am in the right spot,” I reassured myself as Coach Barron shook my hand and introduced himself.

Now, to save myself a box of tissues, I’ll skip over the uncountable life lessons Coach Barron taught me and the rest of my peers inside that room. Working hard, being thankful, staying tough and telling our parents that we loved them (a few of the popular standouts). Not to mention the times he sat us down on his knee to console us after a loss, or give us that big, powerful hug at the end of the season. He was the real deal and as you can imagine, it didn’t take much for parents to recognize that and become involved. This created an incredible community of support. I wrestled for Ray all the way through middle school and eventually landed at the high school nearest my home, Thunderridge.

It’s funny when I look back on it now, how little time away from his influence it took to have me coming back for more. TRHS was not what I expected and it certainly didn’t stack up to the morals and values that had been coming from my parents and other key sources like Coach Barron. After my freshman year, I immediately decided to enroll at Heritage High school, even though it was a good 17-25 minute drive away from home. Some key drivers pointed me in that direction. A base of friends and a community I was familiar with from the little kid wrestling program, as well as the chance to continue developing under Coach Barron.

Fast-forward through three years of incredibly important and meaningful life lessons. More beautiful moments within the Heritage wrestling community. More life-long friendships. More personal developments, physical and mental. More care and effort from a man who was already known for his saint-like reputation. It’s my senior year of high school and I’ve admired those names on the wrestling room wall my entire life. Imagining how great it would feel to reach the state wrestling championships and be included on that list. With every year under Ray Barron’s tutelage, that goal had become more and more of a reality. However, this was my last chance. My final stand. I had seen too many painful examples of people missing that goal (including myself). Injuries, wrestle backs, giving up. I decided that would not happen to me. I would not risk my opportunity to place in the top 4 at regionals. No consultation bracket. No losing. Just get yourself to the finals, then nobody can take your ticket away.

We traveled to Poudre High School for regionals my senior year. With a lifetime of inspiration behind me, I had pinned my way into the semi-finals. Now, the only thing between me and my ultimate goal was the 189-pound wrestler from Brighton. I have never been more nervous. The pressure I was putting on myself was more than anything I had ever experienced. As I warmed up for the match, my own thoughts of doubt and failure had begun to manifest as stomach pain. Coach came up to me for our usual pre-match rituals. Seeing the look on my face, he asked how I was feeling. “My stomach doesn’t feel so good, coach,” I said, expecting to get the sympathetic ear I had received the prior 11 years. All the sudden, Coach raised his deep, gravely and growling voice to yell and exclaimed “Well, go throw up then!” I said “Yes sir” and went to the bathroom to do exactly that. When I came back, Coach gave me some tums and we resumed our normal pre-match warmups. He knew what I was doing to myself. He knew that the only thing standing between what I wanted and where I was, was MYSELF. He seemed like he knew everything, including knowing the right things to say at the right times. He knew when to cross the line and when to respect it. Most importantly, he knew when to shake you out of your own nonsense and when to console you. A rare gift by anyone’s standards.

So, I went out and I wrestled. Two and a half hard-fought periods flashed by as I found myself on top position and more than 8 points ahead. “Holy shit, I’m 30 seconds away from it.” I thought to myself. As victory was closing in, I continued driving my opponent into the mat. While the final seconds counted down, I felt an unexplainable euphoria flow over me. The buzzer sounded and I shot up to my feet with my hands in the air. My arms and legs seemed like spaghetti and my eyes were already filled with tears. I had done it. After shaking hands with my opponent and his coach, I ran over to Barron and gave him a giant hug. My family and teammates cheered in recognition of how important this moment was for me, I stayed there crying in Coach Barron’s arms for around 10 minutes. He had helped me to reach an unreachable peak and it was the only thing I had ever wanted that bad. He also knew how important that moment was to me. No doubt he had seen me and countless others staring longingly at that wall. He had heard me and my friends hatching our plans to make it up there. He knew and he stayed there in that same spot, letting me cry tears of joy on his shoulder, enjoying the moment. I will never forget that moment or any of the little moments that led up to that moment. Many of those moments are thanks to Ray Barron and the incredible men he recruited to help run his program. He helped me to have my own "Rocky" moment. A moment where I overcame all fear, doubt and every little voice in my head telling me to give up.

Flash forward to 2020. Again skipping the moments when he coached me at the Pepsi Center, when he put me up for the All-State Senior Dual Team, when I came back to help out with the little kids program on school breaks, when I won a Rocky Mountain Nationals title, when he invited me to help coach the same Little Kid’s program that I came up through, when he recommended me for my first coaching gig at Euclid Middle School or asked my to join his staff when he came out of retirement to reform Columbine Wrestling. Now… We’re 3 years into his tenure at Columbine and prospects are looking very good for the next season. At this point, I had been collecting interviews with people who’ve been influenced by Coach as well as experts studying the effects of mentorship. Like in every other aspect of life, Coach was extremely giving of himself and had approved my request to make him the heart and soul of a documentary on the importance of mentors in young people's lives. So, in the middle of the summer heat, Andrew Martin and I spent all day with Coach Barron. We filmed his daily chores, a tour of his house and of course a long, detailed interview.

One of the many questions I asked Coach Barron in his interview was: “When thinking about how someone should spend their time on earth, what is the most important thing they can do?” His answer is a beautiful encapsulation of his purpose on this earth. Ray Barron was one hell of a man. For so many reasons. But, one of the biggest reasons he is loved and revered the way he is, is because he is so selfless. He was always looking out for YOU, not himself. His morals and values were absolute. He walked the talk and he walked it straight down the line. If he told you something, he meant it and if he was ever wrong (which was rare) he would apologize and tell you why he was wrong. He expected the same behavior from everyone around him… Which is why there is a gigantic army of wrestlers, football players, students, rugby players, track stars and parents all over the world infused with his spirit.

I have to take a moment to apologize for putting so much of my own memories and history into this post… But as you might have realized, it’s somewhat unavoidable. Ray Barron has been a significant part of my life for over 25 years. When I think about my favorite memories of him, it only reminds me of the many other things he did for me along the way. As you’ve heard from countless people in the past month, Coach treated his wrestlers like his own sons. For all intents and purposes, Coach Barron was part of my family and I always felt like a part of his. Of course, I was extremely lucky to have my own incredible parents, but can you imagine how important his influence was on people who had no positive influences? I can, because I’ve been studying it for years. It’s groundbreaking and beyond transformative. That’s why my new goal will be to spread Ray Barron’s message. To show how important every person’s intentions are in this world.

Your actions in this life will echo through eternity. Will the ripples you create be positive and constructive or will they be negative and damaging? My hope is that I can shine a light on Coach Barron’s efforts and honor his path. In the end, his purpose was to help others. My god, what an amazing world this would be if money, power and fame were all pushed aside for the benefit of others. Of course we would be in such a better place. So, in that spirit, I would urge us all to strive to be more like Ray Barron. I know it’s not easy and I know that it doesn’t come naturally. But, that’s why he was so special. That’s why he will always have a special place in my heart and my head… Reminding me to keep pushing through, doing the job right, being grateful and prioritizing the things that are really important. Thank you, Ray Barron for everything you were, everything you are and everything you will continue to be. The world is a better place because you were in it.

Bo Smith, HHS Wrestler